How to Stop Comparing Yourself
Friend, you’re good enough. You do enough. You have enough.
Comparison is the thief of joy.” —Theodore Roosevelt
So what to do about self comparison when it creeps up? People have an innate drive to evaluate themselves and form judgments about themselves through social comparison, or analyzing themselves in relation to others.
This is understandably worse for those who have suffered neglect, abandonment, and / or abuse.
I love Brené Brown’s definition of comparison. Brown writes, “Comparison is the crush of conformity from one side and competition from the other—it’s trying to simultaneously fit in and stand out. Comparison says be like everyone else, but better (Brown, p. 20).”
If you’ve been stuck in frequent social comparison you know that this does not lead to life satisfaction. It leads to feelings of fear, anger, shame, and sadness. While we may not be able to consciously choose to compare or not compare, we can choose how that social comparison effects our mood and perception of ourselves.
Why comparison is a problem…
Comparison takes you away from feeling grateful for your own life and leaves you feeling insecure, envious, and discontented. Not fun!
If you get sucked into comparing yourself to others, you are often left with feelings of inferiority or superiority—and neither creates an emotionally healthy human being.
How can you stop from falling into the comparison trap? Choose connection instead of comparison.
First of all, know that it is just that, a trap! When you feel admiration for someone else know that this is fuel for you to become the best version of yourself that you were put on this planet to be, not someone you are not.
Here are my top 5 practices for re-centering yourself when you notice self comparison starting to take over.
My Top 5 Practices for How to Stop Comparing Yourself
#1 Stop mindlessly scrolling online
While it can definitely be nourishing to check on your favorite accounts, avoid looking at ones that you frequently compare yourself with, for better or worse.
Be SUPER intentional about how you use social media and post/create more than you consume. Muting, unfollowing, or setting a daily app timer can all majorly help.
#2 Compete with yourself
Compete with yourself ONLY.
What if you stopped consuming and started creating what felt alive within you?
This contributes to freedom and empowerment big time! Follow your inner light, which will truly nourish you for the long haul.
#3 Become aware of triggers
Get mindful and begin to identify where you get activated. Simply start to notice where you begin to feel discontented with your life when just before you were feeling fine.
Then, do your best to avoid these triggers. Exploring them with the help of a therapist is also fabulous!
#4 Practice gratitude
I will forver preach the power of gratitude! If you're a client then you know how much I value this one!
Gratitude drops you right into the center of your heart space and helps you recall what truly matters and what IS working in your life. You will be far less vulnerable to the comparison trap by practicing this one daily.
#5 Recognize your golden shadow
We admire or are envious of someone because it exists within us too but is underdeveloped. How uniquely cool is that?!
Once again, you already have everything you need to fulfill your unique purpose here. Clear away the clutter, get an accountability buddy on board, and let your heart be your guide.
